QsometimesConfused

     The nerve of some people! More so, the nerve of that one person. I’m sure we’ve all had one. I’ve had several. “What is she ranting about now” you ask? Todays’ word vomit is provided by: The people who ask you to love them, yet they give nothing in return. Seriously, where do these idiots get the idea that this is okay?! I think this is a result of not being hugged enough as a child.

      Asking a person to be patient while you come to terms with your feelings regarding them, while screaming at the top of your lungs “you don’t love me/do enough” is just plain ridiculous and rude on many levels. How can you tug at some one’s heart strings while keeping yours so tightly guarded?  It’s almost like The Boy Who Cried Wolf. They keep yelling ”I want to love, to be loved and be in love” so, people come running to provide that which they want. But, the moment love is provided and one realizes that there must be an equal exchange they announce “there is no love to give.” However, this announcement doesn’t come right away. No, these people don’t share that they are not ready to love until others have spent countless hours and immeasurable amounts of energy showing them just how much they are loved. After every bit of their ego has been stroked and their self-esteem is at an all time high, they deliver the blow. I’ve seen it and felt it time and time again (if you ask a few men I’m sure i delivered it).

    It’s effects are disastrous. An emotional natural disaster would serve as the best description. Floods of tears, massive weight-loss due to lack of food and sleep. You see, that person asking to be loved comes in just like a tsunami, engulfing and covering everything in their path. However, once they pull back and return from which the came everyone can see the damage left behind.

    How do we stop these people? How do we keep the love hungry bastards with no love to give away??? We don’t. My advice, is just pray. Pray that the person you choose to love was hugged enough as a child. And pray, pray to that God you believe in, that you have the good sense to know that you won’t be able to make them love youy. Pray, that you know when you’ve given enough of your love. Pray that when you finally give up, you have enough love to give to someone who wants to love you.

So Christmas is rolling around and I suddenly find myself wanting a boyfriend. Not for any of the reasons one would think. I have a bit of a shopping habit. One of the websites that I absolutely adore has some of the most amazing “uban” men’s clothing at great prices. If I had a boyfriend he would be totally outfitted. I’ve seen shoes, tees, jackets, cardigans, shorts, hats and even bags that any man in his right, or even wrong, mind would love to have. I get so excited when I see clothing at great prices. What better way to show some lucky guy how into him I am then with lots of great clothing?

He said he just wanted to fix me…I didn’t know I was broken

“After my last #failed relationship I went to rehab 4 my addiction 2 ♥.. I took an oath to never take up that addiction again..” ——-My friend MJ Walker.

     All around me it seems like my peers are losing faith in love. I’m one of the hopeful few still holding out. One day I hope to find my soul and spiritual mate. Please understand that I’m in no rush. I feel rather complete being single. I meet “new” men all the time, so meeting someone is not the problem. The above quote reminded me of something I always said when I was “anti-love” and that’s to not be in love with the idea of being in love. I think we get so caught up on the idea of being in love that we will settle for a person we know deep down isn’t right for us. Sometimes, with time, they become a great fit. We then think we’re IN LOVE. Until the universe decides we are better off without each other. Then we find ourselves heart broken, confused and running from love. Personally I’ve had my heart stomped on, handled without care and shattered more then I can count (I wasn’t even in love just a great deal of like). What’s funny is the more I’ve experienced the more I’ve come to understand that love true love will be great. I won’t run from it. But, I refuse to spend my life so wrapped up with falling in love that I lose sight of what love really is supposed to be.